Week 19: Turnaround & courage

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Week 18: Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda’s- no more! 

Today one of my Master Key Guides suggested that I look for something new on my walk today. I must admit, I was resistant- this was my walk! My time! I wanted to listen to my favorite podcast & veg out a bit while exercising, not do deep contemplation! 
It’s sunny, that’s new! That’s what I’ll tell him, it’s sunny (insert grumpy face here with arms crossed). Indiana winters are not pleasant, but despite the wind chill of 12 degrees, the sun was shining bright enough that I needed sunglasses. 
I made it through about ¾ of my walk, when I took in a big sigh & turned off my podcast, thinking “I promised.” True it was sunny, and very cold, and I was walking my dog. Thinking more, I really was enjoying the sunshine-it’s something I desperately miss, but last year I would not have been outside for a walk when it was this cold. I would’ve admired the sun from indoors, longing for nice weather when I could go outside, thinking about the negative & wishing for change. 

Thinking further, especially more about how “I shall live this day as my last,” I came to ponder the value of my time on the walk. Was this a good “trade” for my time, walking my dog in the frigid blustery air, not listening to my podcast? Yes, I decided, it was a good trade: exercise + sunshine + dog = very good! But it also had me thinking of all the times I have NOT gone on a walk, but then I quickly dismissed this idea. 

“Yesterday is buried forever and I will think of it no more.” 

The “Shoulda, woulda, coulda’s” are worth nothing to me now. 

Our group Zoom this week again was very helpful for focusing, observing, and Master Minding with each other. It made me reflect on how far I have come! Just this week, rededicating to the daily exercises has created huge leaps in positivity in my life. I am not focused on the things I have done wrong or failed to do as much as I am focused on opportunities to do things. My old blueprint was very much about beating myself up for missed opportunities. Now, I have switched my focus to positive and I am accomplishing much more in my daily life. It’s amazing what a difference a week can make!

As far as my DMP, I am still working on it- but I don’t’ see this as a failure anymore. I see it more as a revolution, and evolution. My first DMPs were about others, how I would help them, what I would accomplish to support them. As a “Blue” this is a typical behavior, I believe, focusing on others. As I whittled, edited and changed my DMP today, I did have the brief worry that I was being too “selfish.” Was it focused too much on me, on what I want to achieve? Did it seem overly focused on money earned or vacations? It is my DMP, I had to remind myself! It’s supposed to be about me. 

But keeping in mind that these achievements are an external indicator of my inner accomplishments, I paraphrased this idea in my DMP to remind myself that my inner evolution and growth are the key concepts on which to focus. My subby will manifest the means for accomplishing these external rewards, I just need to have the confidence and faith that I CAN. After all, 

“Thought is the energy which the Law of Attraction is brought into operation, which eventually manifests in abundance.”

Before, I did not think nor believe that I could accomplish my goals and so the Law of Attraction worked perfectly. I did not accomplish them. Now, kicking the “shoulda, woulda, coulda’s” out of my life will take time, practice, and the Law of Substitution. 

I am looking forward to it! 

Week 16: Focus and refocus

“Wealth is a product of labor. Capital is an effect, not a cause; a servant, not a master; a means not an end.”

Week 16 made me focus & refocus on my DMP, looking at it through another lens and angle, to dissect it and ask myself, “what really is my goal?” My goal is not to be wealthy.

It is to have wealth so that I might give it away.

It is to have the time freedom and liberty to support my family AND the causes in which I believe.

It is to travel and give my children opportunities and great family memories.

Money is a tool to be used, money is not my DMP. However, hard work is required to earn this tool. This is where I find it easy to get distracted by the symbol of money. If I am working hard to earn money, I need to remember to keep my eyes on my big goals until I have achieved them, to not focus on the money. I am not afraid of hard work, but apparently I am easily distracted.

“To control thought is to control circumstances, conditions, environment, & destiny.” He has also said that if you do not like your circumstances, then you need to change your thinking.

I don’t like change.

I should amend this and say before this course I didn’t like change, and I still struggle with it. But as time as has passed, Week 16 has sunk more deeply into my subconcious, I feel a little more at peace about change. Change has always been hard for me, I don’t like it & I generally passively-aggressively fight it by doing an ostrich & sticking my head in the sand. But, I really know now that trying to ignore change is a decision, I am not delaying any decision by ignoring it- I am making a decision to ignore it. I don’t let my children do this because it isn’t beneficial, why do I think I am exempt?

I should say before I was not intentional, or rather that I was not being an aware observer of my own decisions. But now, “those familiar with these cycles will not be disturbed when things SEEM to go wrong, but can apply the principal outlined in these lessons… We can convert every seeming difficulty into a blessing.” Change is new, but not bad- I have now rejected this old blueprint, but I have to work on being conscious about it. I am looking forward to the time when this is a reflexive subconcious thought- “change is good! How will I utilize it? Where will it take me? Does it keep me on track?”

I loved the exercise this week, “try to bring yourself to a realization of the important fact that harmony and happiness are states of consciousness and do not depend on the possession of things. That things are effects and come as a consequence of correct mental states.”

We are constantly bombarded by the outside world with images and ideas of things we just got to have! We are weighed down by symbols, distracted from our true purpose, led astray by trying to keep up with the Jones, or in some strange places, the Kardashians. But if we shrug off those distractions, focus on our goals, then we will find that “correct mental state.” The flash cards, readings and Masterminding help us.

I need to plug in more to this marvelous system! Fear of change has held me back. But we must focus, make decisions, and stick to our compass. It will always guide us where we want to go.

Week 15: Rocks or butterflies? 

Rocks or Butterflies?
On this week’s conference call, I had rocks in my gut. 

Right at my solar plexus, this feeling of tension, of anxiety roiling, as The Fabulous Davene congratulated all of us on sticking with the program and cheering on our successes. With every “atta girl!” And positive reinforcement, the rock-lump grew bigger and I had do to my best to not cry, to not puke, or to turn off the call because I have not been faithful to the program. I have been struggling and as I have shared before, I am VERY good at beating myself up. My old blueprint has been winning. 

I feel as if I am hanging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails, just barely keeping my grip. 

But then Davene shared some info a friend shared with her, that (to paraphrase) “fear and excitement release the same chemicals into your body.” 

-Wait, WHAT?! 

It made me pause and reevaluate the feeling in my gut. 

On some level, I know this information. We have talked about it before, how we can decide what reaction we have to any situation. WE can decide our feelings, if only we are the observer and can identify what is happening. We can choose whether it will be fear or excitement that we feel. Rocks or butterflies. A weight dragging us down or wings to lift us up. 

This is difficult to do, to choose the positive. Being an observer in our own lives requires that we keep our eyes wide open and not fall back into old habits. 

Dave Ramsey, a financial guru, once mentioned that all the millionaires he knew & interviewed were “fanatically honest.” It has been years since I heard him says this, and it has stuck with me because I did not understand it for the longest time. “Fanatic” is usually has a bad connotation, and I could not understand why he would connect this negative word with “honesty.” I think now I am getting an idea of why he said “fanatically honest.” These millionaires he interviewed must keep their eyes wide open, they must constantly reevaluate themselves, their goals and decisions in order to stay on track and be successful. 

By being “fanatically honest” they are most of all, honest with themselves and do not hide behind excuses. 

How can I create a new blueprint to be fanatically honest with myself? I think that keeping this idea of honesty & no excuses in mind will reinforce and support my habit of being an observer. If I make this decision, it will cause me to reevaluate any decision, no matter how small it may be, and help determine if it keeps me on target with my main goals. By observing my choices, being honest, I will make better choices instead of reacting to situations the old way. 

Rocks or butterflies- where am I now? Well, I must admit, I still have this feeling in my gut. 

Today, I choose butterflies. 

Week 11.9: thoughts & overthinking

I have been thinking on how what we think about grows. 

The sentence is not very clear, but the idea of focusing our thoughts on what desired outcome we want is made clear in the texts we have read recently. However, I am struggling with this. All of our lives, we have been taught to dissect a problem & that we must understand it, then come up with solutions. And so my brain has been stuck in a cycle, a plateau of thinking about WHY I am struggling, and therefore I am struggling. 

I have to admit that I am also scared. It is easier to admit that we are too busy or we just “really didn’t try hard enough,” than to admit failure. I know that I am repeating some old posts here, but this is where I am right now- still stuck. 

Yesterday, my business mentor encouraged me to write down some goals for 2017. I do not think I have ever written out resolutions, I have made them, but never been able to keep them. I now know why. I have never made my goals a “burning desire,” never made them the utmost priority in my daily life. Daily choices, even the smallest ones, affect my eventual trajectory. I am the one to make choices, which then causes my daily situations. 

I think I am going to restart and remember to take it one step at a time, make smart little choices. Today my smart little choice was to write a blog post. CHECK! Say “Do it now” & “I can be what I will to be” are my next goals to accomplish before bedtime. Here we go… DO IT NOW! 

Week 11: Struggles

To any of you who are struggling, you may or may not want to read my blog today.

I am struggling mightily this week. I have reverted to old habits, and have struggled daily with my new, positive habits.

From whence do these struggles come? I have tried to be the observer, and it is difficult to determine. Is it because I have been sick with a cold? Struggling with this ever present personal crisis?

The answer is yes, and no. I have learned that excuses are just excuses, and I need to do my best. I am very tired right now and doing my best is difficult.

A few lines keep emerging from my subconscious this week, to paraphrase, “to succeed or fail takes the same amount of effort and struggle.” Difficulty and struggle are present in both situations, so why don’t I continue to struggle in the positive direction?

In Scroll III of Og Mandino, he talks about continuing no matter what & that if “the disease of the mind appear, carry on anyway.” (I apologize for paraphrasing, my book is in a room with sleeping people!).  This is where I am, struggling to carry on because my old blueprint is comfortable and known, I want to go back to it.

Have I made progress? I feel as if I have, but now I am reverting back to sabotaging myself. This cycle is hard for me to break, so I will just start again small and give myself some grace.