Rocks or Butterflies?
On this week’s conference call, I had rocks in my gut.
Right at my solar plexus, this feeling of tension, of anxiety roiling, as The Fabulous Davene congratulated all of us on sticking with the program and cheering on our successes. With every “atta girl!” And positive reinforcement, the rock-lump grew bigger and I had do to my best to not cry, to not puke, or to turn off the call because I have not been faithful to the program. I have been struggling and as I have shared before, I am VERY good at beating myself up. My old blueprint has been winning.
I feel as if I am hanging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails, just barely keeping my grip.
But then Davene shared some info a friend shared with her, that (to paraphrase) “fear and excitement release the same chemicals into your body.”
It made me pause and reevaluate the feeling in my gut.
On some level, I know this information. We have talked about it before, how we can decide what reaction we have to any situation. WE can decide our feelings, if only we are the observer and can identify what is happening. We can choose whether it will be fear or excitement that we feel. Rocks or butterflies. A weight dragging us down or wings to lift us up.
This is difficult to do, to choose the positive. Being an observer in our own lives requires that we keep our eyes wide open and not fall back into old habits.
Dave Ramsey, a financial guru, once mentioned that all the millionaires he knew & interviewed were “fanatically honest.” It has been years since I heard him says this, and it has stuck with me because I did not understand it for the longest time. “Fanatic” is usually has a bad connotation, and I could not understand why he would connect this negative word with “honesty.” I think now I am getting an idea of why he said “fanatically honest.” These millionaires he interviewed must keep their eyes wide open, they must constantly reevaluate themselves, their goals and decisions in order to stay on track and be successful.
By being “fanatically honest” they are most of all, honest with themselves and do not hide behind excuses.
How can I create a new blueprint to be fanatically honest with myself? I think that keeping this idea of honesty & no excuses in mind will reinforce and support my habit of being an observer. If I make this decision, it will cause me to reevaluate any decision, no matter how small it may be, and help determine if it keeps me on target with my main goals. By observing my choices, being honest, I will make better choices instead of reacting to situations the old way.
Rocks or butterflies- where am I now? Well, I must admit, I still have this feeling in my gut.
Today, I choose butterflies.